I've said too much

Apparently the world can't stress this enough…I'm awkward.

The other day I was carrying a Netflix package to the mailbox. Some girls were walking behind me and one randomly shouted, "YEEAAAH NETFLIX…WHAOOH!"

Normally I wouldn't have said anything because I'm scared of social interaction and people, but because I'd touched a boob the night before, I was feeling confident and friendly…so I turned around and answered, "Yep, Netflix, it's pretty good stuff."
Of course, all of the girls were silent then…like I was the crazy one.

But when I turned back around to walk away, the same girl as before said, "YOU SHOULD SWITCH TO BLOCKBUSTER."
Not having learned my lesson the first time, I turned around again and asked, "Really you think I should switch to Blockbuster? I kind of like Netflix. It's cheap and very convenient…" at which point I felt awkward so I added, "I don't know why I'm advertising Netflix to you randomly on the street…" at which point I trailed off and turned back around.
From behind me I could hear the girl say, "Let's just cross the street now."

Which goes to show…if a crazy person talks to you, don't talk back…you're just going to seem even crazier in the long run. (See Mike Birbiglia's joke on moving in for a shorter and better example of this)

* * * * * *

I had a dream last night where I was trying to tell that Netflix story as a joke to an audience. I think it was in New Hampshire because I wasn't having fun. Also, a guy was leading a kangaroo around the room and I was at the center of a circus ring with six people in the audience sitting on opposite sides of the room, so it was clearly New Hampshire.

I started the story by asking, "Do you know about Netflix?" to this guy in the audience…and some lady behind me yells to her drunken friend, "Why is he explaining the jokes so much?" And then I think the dream ended where I called the lady a bitch and quickly got the audience to hate me.

The problem is that I don't know how to benefit from my dreams. In the movie, "A Christmas Carol," Ebenezer Scrooge has a dream where someone tells him to change, he has an epiphany, wakes up and gives a turkey to Tiny Tim. My New Hampshire dream is probably an example of that, but instead of waking up and having an epiphany, I just woke up and said, "Well that was a weird dream. Oh, it's only 7 in the morning…back to bed." Just a tip, if someone in your dream tells you to "stop over-explaining jokes," don't wake up and write a blog where you over-explain the entire subject. You will end up spending too long editing the blog and leave feeling unfullfilled.