The Lost Lumiere Bros.

A couple months ago I made a film with some funny people.

Spoiler Alert: I get hit in the head with a hammer.

Last Comic Standing

My original reason for waiting in line at Last Comic Standing's open call was to meet other comics living in NYC. After an hour on the street I realized that besides some comics from Boston and others I already knew from NY, most everyone else had done comedy for about 6 months to never. One woman seemed to have a place in line simply because that's where she normally lived anyway. 



11pm: I first arrive at Gotham Comedy Club. I don't plan to stay. There's already about 130 waiting in line around the corner and down the block. Danny Kelly, who's been waiting since 7pm, is 90 according to a list one of the "comics" drafted. Cory Rodriguez, Kris Norton, Orlando Baxter, Corey Manning, and Martin are waiting in the 100's. 

Apparently, some have been waiting since midnight the night before. I'm told this is nothing compared to the American Idol auditions where people wait for a week. 



12 am: Realizing it's not hard to cut in line I decide to stay…as long as it doesn't rain. I'm not even sure I'll get to audition since they supposedly only take the first 125 or so. 

A guy and his friend (who's just there for moral support) sleep behind me in a tent.



1 am: It starts raining. I borrow a trash bag from Kris, cut a hole for the head and proceed to look ridiculous.



Cory R, also wearing a trash bag, goes to a convenient store. A homeless guy offers Cory a beer, saying, "We gots to look out for each other."



Throughout the night passersby ask why we're in line. 
"Last Comic Standing."
"Who?"
"Why are you in line?"
"We're waiting for bread rations."

At one point a lady asks and Cory R. responds: "American Gangster, they're making another one…you know American Gangster? It's like American Idol…with the singing? Basically…you've read the Harry Potter books right?" 
Confused, the lady leaves and we laugh at her. Then we realize we're wearing trash bags in the rain at 1:30 am and we return to shivering.



4 am: I leave to sleep in Kris's car for two hours. Wake up feeling much worse than before. 

6 am: People come off the train for work. By now I look thoroughly homeless. 



8:30 am: Bill Belamy appears with his crew and they film us pretending to be excited about waiting for the past 12 hours. I think there are about 400 people in line by now. The guy in front of me is a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator with a bright blue "Dumb and Dumber" suit. Five behind me is a 50 Cent look alike who's missing half of his teeth. My chances are slim. 



10 am: I enter a confession booth. There's four other comics in the room listening to my "private confession." A production assistant asks me why I'm funny, if I do impressions, and why I should be the last comic standing. I say the word "hilarious" about 25 times (and I think I also allude to possibly committing suicide if I don't get picked) before the guy says "alright, next."



10:30 am: I return to line. They tell me I'm not getting a stage audition but that I will have five minutes to show myself and see if the producers like my look. I laugh (and cry on the inside).



10:50 am: I enter Gotham with four other comics. We stand in a semi-circle around a hipster PA, who's wearing an Ivy league scarf and a GAP headset, and checking his cell phone every five seconds. I feel like I'm auditioning for In Sync. 

Whenever the PA points at us we're expected to tell a joke. He doesn't go in any particular order. Instead he just points randomly like we're in the comedy lightning round. Cutting us off mid joke, he doesn't seem to be listening, just smirking and looking for anyone crazy enough to be "Best of the Worst." 

After 1½ jokes I'm done.



11:05 am: I get two free hot dogs that better resemble Bic pens. The free food and the reason to write a blog made it all worth it.

There were over 500 people waiting to audition. They ended up allowing everyone to "audition" but only the first few visited the confession booth.