Good Afternoon, Sleeping Beauty

Did some shows in Massachusetts this weekend and so I stayed at my parents' house. It’s a felony to wake up after 8 at my parents’ house. They will do everything in their power to make sure you don't sleep past 8, like the cops are going to show up, rip you out of bed, and arrest you for relaxing and enjoying your life.

I'm finally away from the chaos in New York City, lying in bed in the suburbs...they're yelling on speaker phone, not even outside calls, just my dad talking to my mom. They're smashing dishes against the floor, taking lessons on the electric guitar, performing step aerobics all over the house.

Then when I have the audacity to walk downstairs after sleeping for less than five hours, they say "oh it’s so nice of you to join us sleeping beauty.” Or they call me a “lazy bum” depending on how offensive they feel. Sleeping beauty had someone kiss her awake. Waking up to you playing broadway musicals on surround sound speakers while gossiping about the politics at your day school is not exactly a fairy tale wakeup.

One time I woke up at 9:30 and my grandmother goes, “well good afternoon.” Usually it has to be after noon to be afternoon. Just because I’m out 5 hours after you go to bed doesn’t mean afternoon gets a new definition.

Point is, I'm cranky right now.