Dear Dan

ONLINE HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

DEAR DAN: My friend, John Legostein (his Jewish dad invented Legos and he’s made up), hates myspace and facebook because high school acquaintances he never wanted to see again are finding him. What would you do if you were he?
- HOPSCOTCH CHAMPION IN CHATANOOGA

DEAR HOPSCOTCH CHAMPION: I don’t care who finds me. If someone I’ve never met adds me I’ll confirm the shit out of it. “Oh you’re a sixty five year old from Wyoming who likes the look of my profile? Welcome to my top 8, friendo.”

The only reason I would hate it if old acquaintances were finding me would be if I were still getting bullied online?

“Eddy Henderson has poked you… and punched you… and called you “pubic head” while sending spitballs at your face as you visit your locker before 9th period social studies class. Check it out!”

“You’ve been laughed at by Jen Garrett and the rest of the cheerleaders. Want to return the humiliation?”

Jason Marko is asking if you want to add the “You’re a faggot” application. Confirm? Ignore? Go cry in the bathroom stall and hide there until all the busses have left?

Also Hopscotch, Sorry we couldn't meet up last night. I got back from Bethlehem, PA late last night and ended up watching the end of Milk. You were right. He does die in the end, but what you forgot to mention was that he was gay the whole time. Talk about a surprise twist and shout (that's how gay people say "surprise twist." Watch the movie again, you'll see).