Hey meditation, you're cheaper than medication and most people from monks to psychologists say you can bring me to a higher place and make me happier. But when I listen to the gurus on your babbling brook and ocean waves CDs, they all speak with this soft, slow monotone and sound dangerously close to brain dead. If those are my role models, are you saying I need to have a lobotomy to be happy? I'm not motivated to reach a higher consciousness when it's just going to make me sound like Mr. Rogers meets HAL, the evil computer from 2001 Space Odyssey. I'm not reaching a higher awareness. I'm getting the dazed and confused brain of Spicoli from Fast Times. Congratulations meditation, you've found a way to make me a pot head without the fun and social benefits of smoking pot with friends. That being said, I'm going to continue to try you out as you and your gurus help me fall asleep at night.
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