I like when you ask someone for directions and even though they don't know the answer, they still feel the need to waste 5 minutes of your time. Today I was asking this guy how to get to St. James Tavern:
Old Guy: St. James Tavern? Man I haven't been there in years?
Me: Alright, that's fine…
O: No, I think I remember though.
M: It's ok, I can ask someone else.
O: Isn't it over by the coffee shop, now what was the name of that shop...was it the Coffee Express, or the...
M: Thanks a lot, but I'm just going to...
O: Oh now I remember. It was the Coffee Express-o...hahah, cute shop, but yea I think it was over by the St. James Tavern...
M: Great.
O: You know who would know?
M: Someone other than you?
O: Gary would know where it is. If you make a left on Commonwealth and then a right on Beacon, Gary has a convenient store over there and he could definately tell you where the Tavern is...he's a big drinker.
M: Thanks you've been more than helpful.
O: So why do you need to get to the Tavern?
Now I feel like I have to guess ahead of time if the person is going to talk my head off:
"He's a cop, which means he should know where it is…but he's smiling which means he enjoys life and may talk too much."
"She's hot, but has a Dunkin Donuts hat on, which means she doesn't know where anything is…and I shouldn't think she's hot."
"He's miserable looking and just called me a faggot…Looks like we have a winner."
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