My friend told me that employers often read the blogs of potential employees to judge character and make sure they're not writing anything inappropriate. With this in mind I've decided to improve my online image and blog language.
Last Sunday I took the initiative to apply for a local eating contest. Determined and persistent, I looked forward to the opportunity to perform. With my seven years of public speaking experience I felt confident appearing before a crowd of co-workers and displaying one of my many skills: the efficient disposal of hamburgers. In addition to Excel and Word I am very advanced when it comes to hamburger disposal.
As I have a background in project management I was able to effectively approach the objective: to eat as many burgers as possible in five minutes.
Much like my two years working as a customer service representative at one of the world's largest life insurance providers I was able to collaborate with a team of masticating specialists to complete the task at hand. Paying close attention to detail I made sure not to leave any remaining traces of beef or bun behind. This ensured that I maintained a sound budget. Also I like free food.
In five years I see myself as someone who is entering local eating contests on a regular basis. I don't have a job, but enjoy eating and public humiliation making this a symbiotic relationship.
"And in last place: Dan Hirshon, with two hot dogs and a little bit of coleslaw."
Below is video footage of my casual and relaxing defeat followed by the big guy who wins it all.
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